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When you’ve just started dating someone, Valentine’s Day is more awkward You don’t know if you should plan a lavish night on the town, buy.

Do you go with the practical or the romantic? The sentimental or the sexual? How do you thread the needle when it feels like every gift is practically soaked in unspoken messages about commitment, intent and expectations? The trickiest part of holiday shopping for a young or entirely unofficial relationship is understanding the relationship between the length and type of your relationship and the budget for the gift.

After all, no matter how much we try to tell ourselves that a gift is just a gift, what you give to your sweetie carries an intrinsic message about how you feel about them and your relationship. One of my best friends once got a ring for Christmas from her boyfriend. It screamed neediness and serious over-attachment. Sometimes it was an innocent mistake. Sometimes we legitimately were trying to bowl them over and effectively buy their affections.